Putting Vulnerability to the Test

AFH Alum and current Artist Fellow Ananda Toulon in studio at AFH.

Ananda Toulon’s carefully threaded identity is a tapestry woven through artistic self-discovery and vulnerability. A motivated and profound thinker from a young age, it was clear neither norms nor obligations could define Ananda’s story for them. Born in the small Caribbean island of Dominica, they arrived in Boston at the age of six with their mother and one of their five siblings, thinking it was just a vacation. To young Ananda’s surprise, this “vacation” became their new life, paving the way for a journey of transformation marked by vulnerability and creativity.

In her early childhood, Ananda was never particularly challenged in school. In fact, the biggest challenge they faced, whether it was in Catholic school or a leadership academy, was being understood on an individual level. From a young age, Ananda’s fulfillment came from the things they could do without obligation or rigidity. While they maintained good grades, it felt futile to worry about absences and project rubrics when they were learning about themself through creating art. Luckily for Ananda, they had an older brother named Rudra who was attending an art institute with all the supplies they could ask for — unlucky for Rudra, this meant his sketchbooks were always going missing.

After developing a deep love for drawing and painting, Ananda’s middle school art teacher suggested they attend Boston Arts Academy (BAA). With art becoming one of the key ways Ananda related to the world, Ms. Spector’s support was the only convincing direction they needed to start fully committing to their passion. While Ananda holds plenty of appreciation for their time at BAA, they were again greeted with the rigidity of traditional academic spaces that, to them, felt stifling. Caught between their insatiable desire to create and an environment where they felt unmotivated, they started pursuing art on their own.

“For the days that I was absent, I ended up working on myself — doing art fairs or making business cards. We ended up having a class about [professional development], but they didn’t accept the business cards I had made because they were against the rubric.” —Ananda Toulon

By Ananda’s fourth year at BAA, they had grown to become a motivated independent artist, but she still felt as though school was limiting their potential rather than nurturing it. While taking summer classes to complete their degree, a friend convinced Ananda to go with them to Artists For Humanity (AFH) and bring their portfolio. After applying to AFH for three years in a row unsuccessfully, due to BAA’s conflicting school dismissal schedule, they were less than hopeful for a different response. However, Ananda’s persistence and compelling artwork paid off and they were finally hired.

Trying to find the words for all the time Ananda spent at AFH was difficult, as it has consumed most of their adult life. Starting as a teen in 2018, Ananda had already distinguished themself as a talented artist, but still had a lot to learn about themself as an artist and person. In their first two weeks working at AFH, Ananda’s mentor Genaro “Geo” Ortega gave them simple but transformative advice: slow down.

Ananda Toulon's self-portrait 'Tears' created while a teen artist at AFH.

After learning in environments that valued production and efficiency above all else, Ananda finally found the space at AFH to create projects on their own terms. This would open them up to creating art on a higher level, both with larger physical projects and deeper emotional concepts. With a community of fellow artists and mentors where Ananda felt motivated and seen, they started to learn why creating art was so important to them.

“It’s half the sorrow when you share your feelings, but twice the joy when you’re happy, and share that with others through art or conversation.” —Ananda Toulon

Ananda Toulon (L to R) "Days of Candy,' 'Serpentine,' and 'Phantom36' created while a teen at AFH.

After developing skills of self-advocacy, vulnerability, and confidence as a teen participant, Ananda’s journey with AFH continued. They began working as an Assistant Mentor in the AFH Painting Studio right after high school, and found working with the teens difficult yet rewarding. Ananda saw themself in all of their mentees, which made their commitment to the teens all the more fierce.

Ananda Toulon as an Assistant Mentor in the Painting Studio.

Throughout their time working at AFH, Ananda had been working on commissions and independent projects, but when lockdown started in 2020, they took it as an opportunity to become a full time artist. Like many of us, Ananda dedicated this time to self-discovery and creative pursuits. From competing in Art Battles to working on the album cover for Janelle Monáe’s “Age of Pleasure,” Ananda had proved themself to be an accomplished artist.

Eventually, Ananda would find themself learning about curation as AFH’s Registrar and Exhibitions Coordinator in 2022. There, Ananda was able to learn the behind-the-scenes work of art installation, organization, and curation. Without the responsibility of mentoring the teens, they describe their work in exhibitions as a process of becoming a more holistic and well-rounded artist. Before the role, they could create vulnerable, beautiful pieces of work, but after working in exhibitions, they could now curate and hang their work themself.

“I was proud of myself as a teen and as a mentor, but I was waiting for outside validation to prove to myself that I was worth the time…in Exhibitions I feel like I validated myself more from an honest place versus external.” —Ananda Toulon

Arriving to a point where they were confident in themself and their work, Ananda knew the AFH 2024 Artists Fellowship would be the best next step for their career. They wanted to continue working on personal projects while nurturing old and new connections, and that is exactly what they have been doing in the Fellowship thus far. Ananda reflects on the safety that AFH provides for them and everyone who is part of the community — a feeling of stability they have felt since being a teen at AFH.

As a participant in the Fellowship program, Ananda is currently working on a large-scale reimagining of their journey as an artist. The project is a giant, interactive journal that will serve as a self-portrait, showcasing the growth they have made in their art throughout the years. For the journal, Ananda has collected new and old artwork they created, starting with sketches made as a teen and ending with works completed during their Fellowship. Between collages, drawings, and paintings, Ananda invites the world to read their diary, a testament to the vulnerability and growth they have experienced during their time at AFH and beyond.

Ananda Toulon in studio at AFH preparing for the upcoming AFH Fellows' culminating exhibition.

From a 17-year-old AFH teen to a 23-year-old artist, they can say their most important lesson has been transparency. Whether it’s with themself, others, or with their art, Ananda has learned there is no greater freedom than being open. As Ananda would say themself, they have “touched every doorknob in the [AFH] building,” and won’t limit themself in the opportunities they seek. Throughout every trial and project and new connection, AFH has allowed Ananda the space they need to be vulnerable.

“The best part about this place is the people. There are genuine, honest friends I’ve made, both old and new, and the connections that run through this place run deep.” —Ananda Toulon

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Ananda looks forward to sharing their project during the Fellowship’s culminating exhibition. It starts with a sneak peek of Password***** at AFH’s Artopia on October 5, a Pre-Screening on October 25, and the full feature at AFH’s Open Studio on October 29.

If you want to follow Ananda’s story and see their work more closely, you can follow them @anandatoulon.